Graduation is over and still there is alot to be done and so much to be said. Yesterday was my last day and this goodbye was the most dreading part that we all were avoiding.  Nobody wanted to go but destiny had some other plans. As promised to my lovely people, I will be continuing my chain of Inspirational diaries and I will be writing about the people who inspired me in my journey of three years. And the first person is :

SHIVANI BHARDWAJ(Miss MOtivator)

I have named you Miss MOtivator and you, always wonder why I did that. To be honest, Shiv I never came to know when you entered that closed door of my soul. I cannot tell you exactly  why I adore you so much and love you amongst all( secret revealed :p) When I met you I was mesmerised by your simplicity and those not so big dreams. You just wanted a simple life and your all the time enlightened talks about spirituality were completely different from me. You know what, a person like Surbhi Sareen who is nowhere around this segment actually wanted to be round your life. Life seemed to be changed around you.  You used to tell me to find myself through meditation. Meditation and SUrbhi Sareen? Are you kidding me girl? Are you insane? I mean what made you think that I will do that ever! You won! Bingo! You actually made me do that and after three long years, I am confessing this to you.  Yes Shiv, I secretly do the meditation everyday and will do that forever because I feel connected to you.

This connection grew so strong that I want to laugh at those jokes with you, I want to smile admiring your peaceful smile, I want to dance with you at those bhangra beats,  I want to make those crafty cards with you, I want to cry with you at your sorrows, I want to make your life a bed of roses. I know that is not true and will never happen because roses do have thorns. Happiness and Sadness are part of life which we have to accept. SHiv, trust me I actually listen to your words and keep your advises in my heart.  I know I always behave that I am going to ignore that stupid advise but secretly I follow it. When we had our first ever fight, you told me to shut my stupid mouth and now I am practising it hard as you know I can go on blabbering my whole life. I still remember when you used to talk to me alone and preach me, how I need to accept the facts and move on with life, how I need to concentrate on my career, how I can become an independent woman, how I can improve myself. I know you genuinely care for me and will always do. And yesterday also, when you advised me how I should concentrate on my life,I actually brushed away your ideas because I was getting senti at that time, because now I wont be getting those bundle of advises, those taunts, those angry orders,

” Zindagi mei aage badhna hai to chup reh, sabki sun or fir react kar”

I need to tell you something very important( now don’t get serious, its not too serious, just a fact I found out.) I feel your peaceful smile is lost. I never got the chance to say that because I guess I am not that strong to confront you face to face. Your dad’s demise not only affected you, it affected me too. Why? Because when you lost your lifeline, I lost my lifeline too, your peaceful smile that always take me to a world of peace and trance. I know when someone dies, its hard to live without them but we can’t stop living. I know you are handling the things alone and there is alot on your plate to handle which I might not be knowing because you don’t want to trouble me.  I respect you what you are doing. But one thing can come back, it might take time but try to find it: Your peaceful smile and trust me, I can sacrifice anything to get that back. I will always be there to listen to you. I am just a call away. ANd I am super vala sorry if I ever made you cry or hurt you. You know na, I am completely gone person. SO forgive me. I really love you my jaan. You gave me a new perspective of life and I will always keep it safe in my heart.

This is your pagal si saheli signing off.. will be back with more such interesting posts..stay happy..stay strong and remember that, I love dher sara..<3