I am really sorry for not updating the confession last Sunday. Things have been tied up and I got super busy with the assignments, quiz and a lot has been going on in my life. Life of an immigrant is not at all easy. At times, you are homesick, you feel sad for no reason, you are helpless sometimes, you are unable to express yourself and moreover, its hard to tell your heart out to others. Most of the people are strangers for you and same goes for them. It is hard to adjust with both such situations.
Last week was the toughest. I am having issues with coping up with the things. Sometimes, days are easy while sometimes days are bit harsh. Can you guys imagine, a person who has worked all the time like a hardcore professional is jobless in this country. Maybe destiny has some other plans for me. Every time, I used to think destiny can’t do anything to me but here life is drastic. There is a lot of silence and earlier I was loving the silence. But it was just a mirage for me. Now, silence kills me. When you have nobody to talk to and you end up becoming a listener.
Some of my soulmates have been Tim Hortons, McDonalds, Station Express and Church. Out of these Tim Hortons and Station Express remains open 24/7 hours. It is the best time to introspect yourself and do your assignments. Lifestyle is different here. People are more active at late nights as they do night jobs. I met a girl at Station Express and after listening to her story, I got to know about different things.
I searched for jobs this week and literally went to many places. I applied at 114 places and went to 21 places for interviews. Rejection is hard to digest when you are clueless, like why you are being rejected. This Sunday I got to know that I was overqualified for the jobs I was asking. Coming to self confidence, self respect, just one thing to say, “Just crush it!” It will break you with every passing day. Don’t wait for the situations to do for you. Here people literally beg for jobs by saying,’ I need the job.’ For me, its hard as I have never gone to that extend for the job. But if situations went worse then surely, my self respect will die. For now, last breaths of my self respect are going on. Hope is keeping me strong else I would have been broken by now.
I met many people who are homeless. They don’t look poor but they don’t have money to rent or buy a house. They live at Tim Hortons, Ellesmere side. They sleep there and in the morning do the breakfast there. Once I went there with my friends to complete my assignment and I got to know about this place. I once talked to a person and he told me his story which was really heart touching. Life is a struggle everywhere, doesn’t matter whether you are in India or in Canada.
Survival is hard. I met a guy who told me that he had to starve for a week because he didn’t have his money. His debit balance was zero and he never asked his family for the money. I asked him how he survived. He said he survived on green Tea and lost a lot of weight. So, when somebody says to you that they are losing weight, then probably they are surviving on green tea.
There is only one positive thing that happened, I have started dancing and I am learning how to play pool too. After reading, these two things keep me at peace. As usual, most of my day is spent in the library only. Canada is a mystery and I am trying to solve it.